After months of denial, I have finally accepted the fact that I am no longer a size 8. In my acceptance, I did the unthinkable, but probably in hindsight the right thing, I removed most (there are just some pieces I couldn’t let go of) of the size 8′s (especially the pants) that were taking up space in my closet and donated them. Keeping them to serve as an incentive was of no use because after months of watching my calorie intake via myfitnesspal, saying no to cocktails, zumba, and 30 minute stints on the treadmill, my weight has flatlined at 155 lbs.
My closet looks a little neater and all of the size 10′s, are now front row and center where they belong. Of course, I will keep up the dieting and exercise for maintenance and to tone my incredibly expanding ass and arms, but I am so over with fretting about why my body was refusing to return to a size 8.
For those of you who are undergoing similar “issues” know that you are not alone. I was surprised to read that popular blogger Vahni of Grit & Glamour is also experiencing the same thing. She revealed this in her January 11th post and wrote these words of encouragement.
“Accept yourself as you are right now… Just remember there are people with ailments, disabilities, or who’ve had accidents that would be grateful for a functioning body like yours. Acceptance is crucial to self-love. This is a tough one, but to move forward, you have to nip appearance-induced depression and self-loathing in the bud. Accepting yourself doesn’t mean you have to love the way you look—it just means that you aren’t beating yourself up about it. But if you don’t like how you look and feel right now, realize that it’s not going to change unless YOU change.” Vahni of Grit & Glamour
Here in Connecticut, writer/poet Tracy Caldwell created and will present The Thick Chronicles: A Body Image Story On January 28 and 29th at Trinity-On-Main, 69 Main Street, New Britain, CT. The Thick Chronicles, is a collection of poems, skits and first person accounts of people’s love/hate relationship with their bodies told through poignant and humorous stories.
“The Thick Chronicles is a movement, a call to arms to gear ourselves up to fight back against body image diseases that can eventually lead to death. The person who is a size 0 and doesn’t love their body is the same as the person who’s a size 24 and doesn’t love their body. It’s more important to have self-worth than it is to have an hour glass figure. We want people to be inspired by these true stories and know you are not alone. It is okay to feel beautiful in the skin you are in, because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We do not have to let one opinion of beauty run our lives.” Tracy Caldwell
Support the event and/or join the Thick Chronicles movement by following via Tumblr. Other body image blogs for support and encouragement that you can check out include: Weightless and ThickDumplingSkin.
From my now, very edited closet, I wore this outfit to my cousin’s birthday get together on Saturday. It was a bit brisk on Saturday so I added my, thank God it still fits, faux leather vest. Please visit my Facebook page to see the outfit in action.
I am wearing:
Black, sheer t-shirt with gold sequined sleeves bought from Marshalls.
Photos by: Robert Cooper